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Recall Gone Crazy

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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Commerce and business

Word count/read time: 435 words; 2 minutes

"Company ZZZ is working with government officials to recall nearly 350,000 YYY in the USA and Canada because XXX can fall off if installed incorrectly."

No, that's not a typo or a joke. What hubris the company must have to think their item wouldn't fall off if installed incorrectly!

Just when you thought recalls were for things that could actually harm you when used and installed as intended, now we have to worry about things not working when not used or not installed as not intended...or not. If you weren't paranoid before, now's a good time to start; everything is out to get you!

No product can be expected to function properly when installed wrong. That's why there are instructions. If you don't grasp this fundamental truth of existence then no frivolous recall is gonna help.

The recall had to be approved up and down the corporate ladder. And then the government. And lawyers, lots of lawyers. No rational person could possibly think this was anything but a punking. How did anyone keep a straight face? Where are the hidden cameras?

People weren't tightening it enough. Naturally, it detached. The instructions are idiot-proof and the product works as intended when installed properly.

Shockingly, the dealers installed nearly all of them! One has to wonder about the competency of the entire industry if something as simple as tightening a bolt to spec was ignored, a.k.a. dumbass didn't read the instructions.

For whatever or whoever, the manufacturer unjustly eats the cost. Blame should fall where it belongs: the dealers' incompetence and negligence. This will be passed off as a "manufacturing defect" when it is anything but that.

Do the dealers think they are above following instructions for some reason? As for the mechanics - it is pretty much the same torque as any similar assembly. They should know it by heart. Can you blame them for not caring? They are just being human.

So my broom is defective because it doesn't fly for any of my witch friends. It won't clean by itself, answer the phone, walk the dog, or pole vault. Will I get a recall notice for every situation? If I send in one recall, does that mean I forfeit my right to submit more in the future should someone get injured?

What litigious niche will this asinine recall create? There's a reason things are installed a certain way. Many a tragedy could be avoided if people followed instructions. Years ago, car owner manuals described how to set valve clearances and now they tell you not to drink the battery acid. Different scenario, same effect.

Posted by M: September 24, 2021

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