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Recall Gone Crazy

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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Commerce and business

Word count/read time: 453 words; 2 minutes

"Company ZZZ is working with government officials to recall nearly 350,000 XXXX in the USA and Canada because XXXX can fall off if installed incorrectly."

No, that's not a typo or a joke. What hubris the company must have to think their item wouldn't fall off if installed incorrectly!

Just when you thought recalls were for things that could actually harm you when used and installed as intended, now we have to worry about things not working when not used or not installed as not intended...or not. If you weren't paranoid before, now's a good time to start because everything is out to get you!

Seriously, no product can be relied upon to function properly when installed incorrectly. That's why there are instructions. If you don't grasp this fundamental truth of existence then no frivolous recall is gonna help.

What's really shocking is the recall had to be approved up and down the corporate ladder at the company doing the recall (the manufacturers). And then the government. And lawyers, lots of lawyers. How did anyone keep a straight face because no rational person could possibly think this was anything but a punking.

The problem turned out to be people not tightening it enough so it fell off. The instructions are idiot-proof and the product works as intended when installed properly. Dumbasses didn't follow simple, basic instructions.

Funny thing is, the dealers installed 98.5% of them. It really makes one wonder about the competency of the entire industry for something as simple as tightening a bolt to spec.

For whatever or whoever, the manufacturer will unfairly and unjustly eat the cost when it's the gross incompetence and negligence displayed by the dealers. This will be passed off as a "manufacturing defect" when it is anything but that. Had I been the manufacturer I would have pointed blame where it belongs.

The dealers are arrogant because they think they are above following instructions. Guess what - science says otherwise. Can you blame them, or anyone for their lack of giving a shit? They are doing what humans do.

So my broom is defective, too, because it doesn't fly when my witch friend uses it, clean anything by itself, answer the phone, walk the dog, or pole vault. Am I going to get a recall notice for every situation? What about all the ones I haven't thought of? If I send in one recall, does that mean I forfeit my right to submit more in the future should someone get injured?

What litigious niche will this create if something so asinine made it to the recall stage? There's a reason things are installed a certain way. Many a tragedy could be avoided if people followed instructions.

Posted by M: September 24, 2021

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