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Not So Believable

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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Human nature

Word count/read time: 499 words; 2 minutes

There are whoppers and there are WHOPPERS! I'm not talking about America's almost-favorite cheeseburger but you'd have to be as dumb as cooked meat to believe any of the following stories.

My ex-landlord destroyed my property while doing illegal work. He refused to provide information so I could file a claim. When I started to withhold rent and got the fire department and building inspector involved, he acquiesced.

His insurance company replied with, "This is not our responsibility but we'll offer you $500 (on a $10,000+ claim) to make it go away." Since when does an insurance company offer money if it "isn't their responsibility?"

The Attorney General of South Dakota "allegedly" killed a man with his car. The victim came through the windshield and left his glasses on the front seat! The AG basically had to step over the man's body while searching for "what he hit."

He adamantly claimed he did not know it was a person. Given who he is, his preposterous story, blatant ignorance, and arrogance for refusing to step down make him a prime gas chamber candidate. Do we really need to share the planet with people like that? Is he worthy of holding the highest law enforcement position in the state?!

Or the websites that say they value your privacy, that your personal data is secure. Or a "temporary" tax increase...like the government will give up money just because they said so? Temporary tax increase? As if. We've been conditioned to accept the fraud that politicians represent.

When money is at stake a company's byline is suspect. Big tobacco's denial campaign. Big oil (recent lawsuits will do little). Dolphin-friendly tuna? We believe it because the truth is too brutal.

Big pharma controls the narrative regarding covid confirmed by the insane number of new billionaires. If the vaccines actually prevented infection or transmission, profiting would still be unethical. Their self-funded anti-depressant studies showed most data was fudged. That's no surprise since they get drugs fast-tracked that are never tested properly...except to make money. We are fed lies due to their greediness; their lobbyists ensure they have no accountability.

All of those lies are about as believable as going into a brothel to be greeted by the 70-year old star celebrating her 50th year with more than 60,000 satisfied customers who proceeds to tell you she is still a virgin. Is her name Mary and is she pregnant with the next Jesus?

This chicanery is ubiquitous with chainmaille and jewelry but it's pennies people squander their ethics on, not billions. Whenever I see handmade, 99% of the time it is a lie (and fraud, since it is a legally defined word). Same with "I value quality and only use the best materials." Does that include pinch- or shear-cut rings? Honesty is as foreign as a woman in a thong bikini in Afghanistan.

Reminds me of one of the funniest videos along this line, The Most Interesting Man in the World. Just sayin', not so believable.

Posted by M: July 26, 2022

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