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I Used the 'Mother' Excuse

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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Experiences and daily life

Word count/read time: 439 words; 2 minutes

I can purchase a motor home that is really a full-size bus tricked out with living accoutrements and drive it off the lot with a class D license. If I wanted to drive that same vehicle and it wasn't mine I would need a class A commercial license with air brakes (and passenger) endorsements.

The test for such a license is stressful and restrictive as not every person is capable of driving a large rig. I had the opportunity to get such a license when I worked for a bus company; the responsibility of driving a huge vehicle or worrying about passengers was not on my docket.

It gets fuzzy when you rent a truck. Vehicles have weight limits. Commercial vehicles are required to stop at weigh stations for inspection but a rented commercial vehicle for personal use is exempt. Or so I was told.

I got pulled over. A bunch of questions later and he was about to start writing citations and impound the vehicle. When your vehicle gets impounded you can kiss everything inside goodbye. It's a perk for the tow truck operators and lot attendants - they are not responsible for personal belongings.

I explained my history with vehicles as a certified inspector for my previous state's inspection system. I detailed my efforts to find the laws that pertained to driving a rental. Showed him the call list on my phone.

Maybe I briefly touched on the horror story I just went through to get moved and how it continued with this rental and being pulled over. I might have acci-purposely let it slip that most of what I was moving was my late mother's estate.

Using the stereotypical mother excuse to get out of trouble is pretty desperate. It is usually about blaming someone else. The scammer, me, is trying to make the mark, the cop, feel bad because the mark just insulted my dead mother somehow. None of these applied (save the deceased part) so I didn't feel so guilty.

Due to the choreographed packing of all households at the rear of the truck anticipating such a scenario, only appliances and furniture were visible. A quick flip of the door was all the evidence he needed. I said I was Vermont's newest resident and maybe as a token of good will he could let this transgression slide.

I still have a clean driving record but I didn't use the mother defense. It was at the ready. Nor did I get pulled over but where else am I going to get ideas without some creative freedom? Let's say this is based on quasi-true events.

Posted by M: August 25, 2023

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