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House It Goin'?
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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Experiences and daily life

Word count/read time: 426 words; 2 minutes

(Written over the course of five months.)

This whole time I thought hunting for a house was gonna be just like finding a hidden treasure on my internet stalking grounds. Many complications have arisen that, as oodles in the industry have said, are unprecedented.

Houses sell so fast in this market that agents are literally unlisting them as fast as they're listing them. One house sold in ten minutes - had I not hit the refresh button I never would have seen it.

Professionals are routinely enlisted to sell houses because the average person has minimal knowledge of the process. The owner/seller is legally and financially responsible for (undisclosed or unknown) conditions. We buyers and sellers have to trust what realtors say. Raw-dogging it - buying without an agent - is not an option.

We needed four- or five-star service given our unique circumstances. Not every person can deliver it. As such, a client might mistakenly perceive inaction as incompetence or indifference. As we console ourselves by believing that we'd probably lose the houses anyway, never getting the chance is disheartening.

With few alternatives it was time for townie power. Probably should have started there. After six degrees of Bacon and a side of ham, my girlfriend found a former co-worker who's lived there her whole life. She remembers a property from 60 years ago that recently came up for sale. Through her we found an amazing realtor.

Third time's the charm, right? By the time this is posted, lest any impure energy jinx me in the mean time, I will be there (here). Move-in date was ten days earlier than originally thought. As if - never happened, it was another few weeks out.

 
With few alternatives it was time for townie power.
 
Multiple garages give this house an unparalleled mancave to living area ratio. Because there's always room for another garage. A house isn't a house without a garage or few just as it can't be called a proper foodstuff unless you can use butter or whipped cream on it.

Keys are in hand as of two hours ago! The most monumental move my minions have ever done will commence shortly. This is me signing out from the Bay State.

(Aside: My opinion of the real estate process is negative. They, meaning the bank, are less accurate than weatherman and they are supposedly dealing in truth and facts and proven procedures. Do they purposely push people, flaunt every sensibility and consideration? Do they smell your desperation and sock it to you for the power trip?!)


Posted by M: August 23, 2021


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