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Hardhat? For Real!?
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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Experiences and daily life

Word count/read time: 424 words; 2 minutes

Safety goggles are a good idea when working with anything that can move faster than the speed of nothing. You don't have to walk around with them 24/7 but using tools, dealing with electricity, flame, unfriendly liquids, playing sports, and endless other activities are good reasons to sport a pair.

Football and tennis use different equipment but their respective uniforms are designed to perform a specific job. Sometimes it is out of necessity, i.e. to protect or prevent injury. Other times, it's fashionable. A blacksmith won't look like a Wall Street executive but they both get their jobs done with appropriate attire.

 
Everyone knows that the heavier an object is, the faster it falls.
 
When there is a potential for falling objects then hardhats are mandatory. Working around heavy or overhead equipment, grab a hardhat. It's unlikely that a ceiling will jump out indoors but heed the words of Chicken Little.

I was hammering away on a silver ingot to prepare it for the square rollers. It slipped out of the pliers. Ass over tea kettle like the Tardis out of control, it went into low orbit.

Everyone knows that the heavier an object is, the faster it falls. Silver is particularly dense. This silver locomotive was big so it's really gonna accelerate. It was spinning fast and had sharp 90 degree edges all around (a square bar about 9/16" on edge and 6" long).

Silver may be soft, relatively speaking, but it is still metal and won't be slowed by cutting some flesh. I didn't want to look up because a knock on the face is the least desirable. Without knowing re-entry or current altitude, moving could intensify or cause an impact.

Wait for it, wait for it. They say life-or-death situations slow down time. This was neither but it took forever. Bam! Right on the noggin. One of the corners broke skin and drew blood. No stitches, just a dab of tissue for a handful of seconds.

Safety glasses helped when forging this ingot. Ear muffs, too. Pliers kept my bodyparts away from the strike zone and stabilized the ingot. Gloves can be used if desired. Positive ventilation kept the air moving. Fire extinguishers and water were at the ready.

A bump cap, the little brother of a hardhat, would have stopped that ingot. Exactly who does someone with a face mask, dark glasses, ear muffs, gloves, and pseudo-bulletproof cap armed with a mini-flamethrower and hammer look like? With deadly metal missiles that launch from his anvil? Maybe don't publicly exhibit this part after all.


Posted by M: May 30, 2019


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