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Follow Me - I'll Bribe You!

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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Experiences and daily life; Human nature

Word count/read time: 506 words; 2 minutes

Keeping track of myriad social media platforms is overwhelming. On average we spend many hours each day tending to them whether flicking through tweets and pictures or posting our own filth.

Crafters, jewelers, knitters, woodworkers, and the like have a place to show their wares to an unlimited audience. Mom-and-pops theoretically have access to the same people as the big stores. Gone are the days of the hidden neighborhood expert as they can unleash their knowledge globally with a mouse click.

For businesses, having many followers conveys a sense of purpose, professionalism, and popularity. Peer pressure and herd mentality convince cyber-passersby to click their mouse and see what's happening. People feel comfortable when they see a crowd or gathering, to know they'll be accepted for their (eclectic) tastes.

There are downsides. Likes and followers take precedence over content and quality. Fake news, trolls, and influencers oh my! It is backwards to what's important but it is the new paradigm. People no longer think for themselves - it's less stressful to be told what to think and how to act.

Which brings up my point: When honest tactics fail there's always bribery. While giveaways offer potential marketing benefits, how does it help the millions of non-commercial entities who have nothing relevant to offer? It's the allure of being an influencer exacerbated by the yapper's lack of self-worth and self-respect. It'd be less pitiful if they outright begged for recognition!

This need for likes and followers reached a fever with a new social media site comprised of bots (website since deactivated but an article about it can be found here). Accounts were free. You could crazily post away knowing there would be thousands of likes. You'd feel like a rockstar with all these followers, reposts, and replies...by bots. You selected options to control the comments and frequency in case the charade wasn't convincing enough.

How deprived (depraved?) must one be to buy into this? Wait, I did say it was free and it was, but they also had a PAID option. A monthly fee boosted ratings even more! It's not like the company was being deceptive. Still, people paid to be recognized and congratulated by bots. The placebo effect works even in cyberspace.

Similarly, some hire a product placement company who charges a ridiculous fee for getting their items on TV, movies, etc. Sellers recoup their exorbitant costs by charging more than they should solely because its facsimile appeared on some no-name show.

Anyone willing to spend heavy cash could do the same since it's not really about quality products or skill. Show me how they sold it for full retail price AND got it on the show without paying for it and I'd be impressed. Though it must give the seller a sense of wannabe fame, inferring it is some kind of merit-based award while shamelessly promoting it is childish. My stuff has made it to the big screen and I was paid handsomely for it but whatever. This is the extent of my bragging.

Posted by M: August 11, 2020

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