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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Human nature

Word count/read time: 385 words; 1-1/2 minutes

Funny and true story first. George is a funny guy and gifted storyteller who comes into contact with the most peculiar people imaginable. What are the odds that the universe points these people in his direction constantly? The stories are so preposterous as to be criminal.

There was no reason to doubt him. There was documented evidence that supported his claims. As the dean of a small college program, multiple degree holder, former US combat officer, father, and respected member of community there was nothing but credibility in these yarns.

He had one story involving a candle jar and surgical removal that was the pinnacle of indecency and unpublishable. This one is just as ridiculous but family-friendly.

One of the university students (not in his program) was making something extraordinary in the woods behind the school. George tracked him down outside on of his classes and confronted him. He had been assembling a carbon fiber rocket that was going to be powered with sugar and another chemical.

The plan was to launch himself into sub-orbital space! NASA gets it wrong all the time even with the best materials and scientists. This dapper kid was making the rocket with a hand-held saw and some Elmer's glue. George told him to stop or the police would get involved.

 
Ask him how much sugar he needed, suggest better glue, and lend him some tools.
 
I would say the opposite. Ask him how much sugar he needed, suggest better glue, and lend him some tools. Do whatever it takes because seeing is believing. Don't squelch someone's dream! Human knowledge demands seeing the outcome. Worry not about being an accomplice because no judge or jury would believe such a story!

There's a money-making opportunity selling tickets to the grand finale: "See a Darwin Award in real-time! Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!" The irony of the cliché "You don't have to be a rocket scientist!" is figurative and literal because you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know it's a bad idea but do to know how REALLY bad it is.

Anyway, about the title. The important takeaway is how to describe your preferences. Your style probably exists somewhere. Whether or not it becomes yours is a choice. As Halloween has just passed, do you crave a jack-o-lantern that elevates pumpkin carving to a new level or a simple pumpkin with a few holes?


Posted by M: November 11, 2018


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