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Chainmaille Not Welcome

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Categories: Rants; Human nature; Commerce and business

Word count/read time: 524 words; 2 minutes

If you like chainmaille then avoid the Irish-themed store in Saratoga Springs, NY. I thought it might have cool Celtic chainmaille. My question seemed rather harmless to the lady behind the desk:

"Do you have any Celtic chainmaille?" The way she looked at me almost made me turn around to see if she was addressing someone else. In a condescending manner she increased her pitch and dismissive tone with each syllable, almost yelling when she finished with a harrumph.

"Kelt Tick!?" Pregnant pause.

"Chain MMaillLLL?!!???" Two pregnant pauses.

"NNOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Did I mistakenly run over her prized dog? Was I supposed to pronounce it "seltic" instead of "keltic?" What travesty I have unleashed upon our world! Neither. She was playing with the stapler.

I could feel a fiendish, cynical response percolating inside me deserving of this spinster. Regardless, I began walking out as I said, "It's becoming really popular these days." Was it worth mentioning that every chain is technically chainmaille and she should familiarize herself with what's being sold in the store?

She's an old-timer who would normally tell stories about what customer service used to be like. But not today. She could have chosen a bazillion better approaches. Therefore, four basic Customer Service 101 responses would satisfy any potential patron:

Make something up. "I believe the owner approached some area artists and wants to do something that best supports the local community. I will mention it again to ensure it is fresh on their mind. In the mean time blah blah blah." I could never disprove it and it would keep the conversation going.
The classic I-don't-know-much-about-it reply shows at least a casual awareness. "Celtic chainmaille? That sounds intriguing! What separates Celtic chainmaille from other types?"
The tried-and-true misdirection works without fail when used properly. "I'm not that familiar with chainmaille. However, those are interesting necklaces you guys are wearing. Tell me about them!"
Saying "no" nicely is sometimes needed.

Customer Service 102 may be useful with two immediate choices:

Captain Obvious would have said: "We have chains and jewelry items behind and next to you. Additional pieces scattered throughout the store. Was there something specific I might be able to help you find?" As the counter person she is literally staring at a wall of Celtic chainmaille all day long with a display adjacent to the counter.
And let's pretend Sergeant Sarcasm is taking a nap. A thousand witty responses would have been perfect. "Of course there is Celtic chainmaille here, FFS!" Sometimes a question comes out of left field that is so ripe for exploitation it can't be ignored.

This is a posh area. Millionaires come in every shape and size. Treat every customer that way because they deserve it. Money comes and goes but it is the relationships, or the ability to build them quickly and amicably, that endure. Good stories start and bad ones end from uncommon meetings.

The lack of quality chainmaille in many places shows me it's still floundering. There is a difference between craft items and real jewelry. Gourmet Chainmail does exist and it pleases sight, sound, and touch alike.

Posted by M: June 5, 2016

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