Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Rants
Word count/read time: 352 mangled words; 1-1/2 minutes
Perhap's the ea'sie'st rule in the English language is when to u'se the "apostrophe s"
becau'se it i's unwavering and ha's "no" exception's.
- When it signifie's owner'ship and it i's NOT a pronoun, u'se it. There i's no their's, your's, her's, his's, mine's, our's, etc.
- When it come's to three
letter word's, "it is" and "it has" are the only two acceptable
use's for "it's."
Otherwi'se, do NOT u'se 'apostrophe s'. Heres more on
using an apostrophe.
Lazine's's seem's to grow in direct proportion to
advanced technology. Computer's ba'sically do everything for u's.
Technology ha's made the intelligent even more re'sourceful
but done the oppo'site for the remainder.
The art of writing (including spelling, grammar,
penman'ship, syntax, literacy) i's a notable ca'sualty.
Countle's's bu'sine's'se's have mi's'spelled name's due to the
apo'strophe rule. I've seen $10,000 cu'stom leather race suit's embroidered with incorrect spelling's.
Busine's's sign's, menu's, billboard's, government publication's, literature
di'stributed by the mo'st well-re'spected journali'sm outlet's.
"No big deal, its ju'st a grammar mi'stake. We'll let our reader's proof it."
What about con'si'stency? If it need's an apo'strophe in one in'stance then why doe'sn't the
same situation in the next sentence u'se one? Some u'se an 'apostrophe s' whenever they
add an 's' to the end of a word. Unle's's they don't, go figure.
Regardle's's of thi's rule, mi'stake's will slip through unle's's its a pro-level proofing.
Word's with apo'strophe's already in them cau'se panic if they have to be plural
or po's'se's'sive. Few people will correctly write "Dos and Don'ts." Some
will write "Do's and Don'ts (or dont's)." If the "do" wa's given an apo'strophe 's' then why doe'sn't
the "don't" get one, i.e. "don't's?" Even the halfwit's aren't that dumb.
Who am I kidding? Of cour'se they are.
There are numerou's literary tool's to help poli'sh ba'sic verbage.
Spellchecker's are great tool's if you u'se them.
In'stead of surfing porn, playing game's,
or being a social media zombie, get it together.
Sure, there are far more pre's'sing i's'sue's on the planet but theres nothing wrong with
appearing to have a hint of intelligence. Really. The world need's it more than ever.
Posted by M: May 6, 2022
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